


Purge

by Dance_Elle_Dance



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Drama, Emotionally Repressed, Episode: s02e08 Furt, M/M, Self-Hatred, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:59:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4874203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dance_Elle_Dance/pseuds/Dance_Elle_Dance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Maybe he likes me." It was only after the words spilled from Karofsky's mouth that he realized he hoped they were true. (Originally posted on 12/13/10.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Purge

**Author's Note:**

> Re-post of my first KurtKarofsky fanfic. I really hope y'all enjoy!

Karofsky never thought the little pixie would end up ratting him out.

Maybe he was just too cocky in his terrorizing ways, or maybe when pretty boy Sam hit him, it jarred something in his head that caused him to act carelessly. Or, wait, maybe it was just Kurt's fault altogether. Yeah, that's worked before. Blame the fairy.

However, blaming the kid sometimes backfired. Last time he did that, Karofsky ended up smashing his mouth against Kurt's own, delicate mouth. And he liked it.

Now, as they sit in _Principal_ Sylvester's office, Karofsky realizes the depth of their situation.

He's so close to being exposed - not only as an outright asshole, but as a…a… He can't even bring himself to say it when he's not even sure of it himself. Even though a voice has been niggling at the back of his mind, telling him that it most certainly _is_ the case. Karofsky clenches his fists a bit tighter as Coach Sylvester talks about the ramifications of his actions, and how this can't be tolerated, blah, blah, blah.

He feels the skin on his arms and neck prickle when the subject of _why_ comes up, and Kurt has every chance to expose him, but…

He doesn't.

Karofsky sends a slightly startled look over in Kurt's direction. He feels the incredulity on his face as clearly as if it was etched there by some scalpel. The little girl ignores him for a bit, before meeting his gaze with his own.

And still, Karofsky can't resist the subtle jab when he says, "Maybe he likes me."

Shocking realization washes over him at that moment. It was only after the words spilled from Karofsky's mouth that he realized he hoped they were true. His skin suddenly feels quite heated, and he is glad he was never the blushing imbecile, or else his cheeks would be aflame right now.

His heart is pumping quite loudly, however. Karofsky wonders if they can hear it.

Now, the jock can't keep his eyes off of the fruitiest member of Homo Explosion, and he's starting to question his sanity because of it.

There's a moment where Kurt looks at Karofsky, and the latter can actually see the damage he's done to the feminine looking boy. Worse still, is that Karofsky actually - _maybe_ \- feels bad about it. Kurt looks like he's about to piss himself, and Karofsky thinks maybe he went a little too far with the "going to kill you" thing.

But it was all about self-preservation, right? If he hadn't said that, Kurt would've told, right? _Right?_

Except there was no indication that Kurt would've told. He hadn't told anyone, not even now, when provoked.

But…Kurt had every right to tell, so _why didn't he?_

It's almost enough to make Karofsky want to smash him against the lockers and question him a la good-cop-bad-cop. Minus the good cop part. The whole thing strikes him as quite funny, after all, because he's getting so worked up over _why_ Kurt hadn't told when he should be grateful that he _didn't_.

Karofsky needs to get his priorities straight, obviously.

And then the verdict is handed over - he's going to be expelled. All because Kurt ratted him out. Okay, maybe Karofsky had this coming, but still.

The football player leaves the office with what is left of his dignity. No fighting, no shouts of indignation, no final punches aimed at Kurt's _prettypretty_ face. Karofsky is quite proud of himself for that fact, actually.

But he does give Kurt one last look as he leaves. He's not sure what his facial features are arranged into - anger, denial, regret?

He smothers the apology that bubbles in his throat and keeps going. He can't apologize. Not now. It would mean nothing to him, and it would make Karofsky look like a complete pansy. And, after all of the shit he's gone through to avoid that, he thinks that apologizing would be a stupid way to reveal that he actually has feelings.

Karofsky also wonders when he has turned into such a complete _douche_.

If the earlier revelation was true - that he actually liked Kurt - then why was he going out of his way to make sure that the geek hated him?

Maybe Dave Karofsky should invest in a psychologist.

Of course, Karofsky would never admit the fact that he felt something besides hatred for his openly gay classmate. Envy? Adoration? All of the above?

Yeah, he's a jackass, and he knows it.

Karofsky is standing out in the hall now, getting a "stern look" from his father, even though he's sure that if his father knew the truth, he'd be getting a beating. Because, well, that's how it is.

The door opens with a short farewell of, "Take care, Porcelain," and there he is. Kurt and his dad emerge from the office, and make their way down the hall. The unique smell that always accompanies the shorter male fills his nostrils and causes him to inhale shakily, as if to commit that scent to memory. It's a strange scent, almost like peaches and cinnamon, or something of the sort.

When Karofsky actually realizes he's spending time dwelling on the _smell_ of that fairy, he clenches his fists so tightly that his nails pop through the skin of his palms. The pain is nothing, however, compared to the other emotions swirling through him.

He finds himself staring blankly off after Kurt, not even looking into the eyes of his father. He can make out a few choice curse words, but nothing else. Nothing else is going through his head except _him_. Kurt and his flamboyance, his death-or-glory attitude that Karofsky actually _admires_ , his…general _appearance_ and _personality_ and…and…

Karofsky feels his muscles bunch up - he desperately needs to hit something to quell his anger and confusion. Like father like son, they always say.

Instead of hitting anything - preferably his old man, but that would give him awful repercussions later, he knows - he just stares off in the direction that Kurt had gone, leaving him alone with his thoughts and his father's incessant babbling.

The geek hadn't disappeared from sight yet, and somehow he's grateful for that. This could be the last time he sees him, and against all odds he's… _remorseful_ about that. He doesn't want to be unable to see Kurt everyday, even though he's a constant figure of fear in his life.

In a way, Kurt scares him as well.

It scares him how much he let his guard down around him. It scares him that he _feels_ something undeniable when around him. And, like everything else in his life, he pushes Kurt further and further away with each action.

For a moment, Kurt turns around and locks eyes with him. It is almost like there's something electric in the air between them, and it awakens every nerve ending in his body. Just by looking at Kurt, Karofsky feels… _something_.

As this happens, Karofsky has a fleeting wish that one day, things would be different between them. Maybe one day Karofsky could accept who he is…who he wants to be. Maybe one day he'd be like Kurt, and not care.

His father's iron grip on his arm is a staunch reminder of why that can't be now.

"Let's go home, son," he says. "I think you've caused enough strife at this school."

The menacing undertone is not missed.

Karofsky looks at his father, and then back to Kurt, who has paused in the middle of the hall for some reason or another. Just staring. Kurt's own father looks back with a sense of tender care that Karofsky has never experienced. Even from this far away, he can tell that he loves his son more than anything in this world.

Kurt gives one last, fleeting, terrified puppy look in his direction before he turns and walks out the doors with his father. With the combination of that and the steely, crazed grip his father has on him right now, he is unbelievably overwhelmed.

Karofsky has never felt like less of a man.


End file.
